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Survival Guide | Almanac

A Most Accurate Almanac Of The Known Lands of Peridor And the People Therein
By A Gentleman Scholar

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Elech Island

Elech Island is a bloody big volcano located in the middle of Kraken Bay. Apparently it last blew up several hundred years ago, only killing most of the people. Since then, the people of Elech Island have pacified the Volcano God that they call Heebeejee by sacrificing a newborn baby each midsummers day. Each newborn babe, in the moments between its heart being ripped out, and it plunging into the fiery pit of the volcano, becomes the (occasionally living) embodiment of the Great God himself. The phrase Screaming Heebeejeebaby comes from this quaint annual festival.

The weather veers violently from Slightly Cold to Toe Numbingly Cold, with the indentured slaves forced to huddle together for warmth. The Priests of Elech Island on the other hand, enjoy luxurious conditions, befitting their status as the Ruling Elite. Visitors are welcome to the Island, on the firm understanding that they present themselves to the authorities immediately, and accept the Priests have every right to torture and burn those they consider to be undesirables.

Kinder

A lovely agricultural area, sadly over-run by plague carrying Catkin, who burnt everything to the ground. To be avoided.

Inuour Trading Federation

The I.T.F. has its head office high in the mountains of Eastern Peridor. They believe themselves to be extremely eccentric and so use the shell as a currency base. No ones quite too sure what currency is, but the I.T.F. do seem to have a fascination about shells. To be honest, they are not really worth visiting unless you like whelks.

The futures bright, the futures ginger.

Lorgaire De Eolas

During the new moon, the community of the Lorgaire take part in a strange ritual known as the Longboat Marble. Visitors who have seen the ritual tell that it involves quaint dances, flowers and vegetable pies. This is not to be confused with the ceremony they hold every equinox - the Bolla Byng Warbouys.

Kal Torth

A quiet village of small squat cottages, the only thing of interest here is a large bronze statue to Harold, a pumpkin that saved the village from an invading army of Salamanders. The story of the statue has been lost in the mists of times.

Lower Tallyherb

The northernmost outpost of the Lizardman Empire, this place is situated in prime swampland, and only occasionally terrorised by giant stoats. The cheerful, if damp, inhabitants sport an unusual form of body decoration, in the form of self-inflicted bruises to the face and body. The womenfolk especially bruise themselves about the face to make themselves more attractive to the menfolk. This is part of their mating ritual, in which the try to mate with as many people as physically possible. Tourism is currently boosting their economy in an unprecedented manner.

Redwood

A dull, depressing place set on the edge of a lake in the middle of a forest. The people of Redwood dance naked around a circle of standing stones to celebrate the destruction of the nearby Elven village at the bidding of their Master, Raven.

Tanu'Kee

Tanu'Kee lies on the southern coast of Kraken Bay. It is a large ruined city flooded by the sea. Obviously, the minotaurs who live there do not care about where they live, or the state that it is kept in. The people of Tanu'Kee have painted their city bright purple. The minotaurs of the area are unique in that they have gills that allow them to swim in the sea like fish. Apart from their love of the colour purple, the PriestWarriors, dominated by the Minotaurs, run regular competitions to see who can eat the most live children in one hour. Their current champion is Gog, who ate all ten of his, and then started to eat one of the other competitors. They also take turns in poisoning each other, and laughing at the death spasms of those who succumb.

Winter's Peak

These highly secretive people live high in the mountains, far from the coast. Very little is known about them due to their habit of murdering all those who come too close. The burnt remains of those who have been captured are displayed on the passes leading up to this haven of evil as a warning to others.

AKAC

Everybody's dead Dave. Everybody is dead. Everybody is dead, Dave.

The Oathcircle

If there was ever a force to fear in Peridor it is the Oathcircle, a group of insane mages who's only goal is world domination led by the power mad Gaia Narn. After someone told Narn that Tay'Kela was the centre of the known world he moved there to build a secret base from which to plot his evil dreams. Work started slowly on the base and Narn was forced to recruit slaves to build his dream lair. Having been caught hand in hand with Han of the eye, he repented sending the plague bearing slaves out to destroy the kind communities that offered aid.

Recently by foul means they have obtained a star tear gem which was drawn out of the sky by "Dark Artes". If you travel to the oath circle you will find the now mad Gaia Narn walking in a repetitive circle through the ruins of his half built lair. As he walks he mouths insanities to his "precious" star tear. They say that when he stops walking he will use the star tear as a detonator to ignite the quartz core of Tay'Kela mountain and vaporise much of central Peridor.

Darringtrow

Another swamp infested hellhole. For 3 days in every month outsiders are treated as part of their extended family, and thus able to take any liberties they wish. For the rest of the month, they kill outsiders with impunity.

Tor Vak

In a lush meadow set high in the central mountains is the sleepy village of Tor Vak. For over 500 years the quiet village has nestled deep in the mountains cut off from the hustle and bustled of the outside world. The ratties that live here dress in traditional ethnic costume and always have a smile on their faces. Visitors to Tor Vak in spring will enjoy the Aprilfest, a time when locals don silly shorts and eat the ever popular Knobwurst cheese sausage.

Higher up the valley is the world famous Tor Vak Cheese Mine from where over 3000 cages are shipped throughout Peridor annually. The most popular ore is the deep cheddar which Cheesesmiths say is Refined, Mature and of Ratkin origin. A recent find has been a rare vein of Stilton, the blue ore has been preserved in a sheer zone and is thought to contain enough for 5 years mining. It is advisable when visiting the mines to arrive in the early morning as oxen carts full of visitors descend during the afternoon to sample the delights of the rochefort stalactites.

The Union Isle

An island off the coast of the swamplands. The things which are of interest on the island are its sheep, which eat seaweed, and its amazing . . . . Sorry, there is only one thing that makes this place interesting.

Tay'Kela

At our meetings the monks of Tay'Kela are often heard to boast loudly of Ursa Mons, the mountain on which they have built their monastery. The truth is more macabre than the monks would have you believe, Ursa Mons is in fact a pile of beastkin skulls, once foes of Tay'Kela killed in order that Al-Harus can have somewhere to park his throne. The pile of skulls is over a hundred feet high and is that large it can be used by pioneers as a feature for mapping. The lower slopes of the pile are grassing over, taking away the bleach white bone appearance that the monks claim is quartz.
The monastery is a scale model of one that was one the site pre-plague and was burned down in a flaming alcohol accident (where the monks get their name). The discerning traveller will be shocked to realise that the monastery is actually only 3 feet long and that leads to Ursa Mons looking as if it is much larger and seen from a distance. To keep up the ruse many of the monks are actually ants that wear little brown cassocks. Most scary of all is when you realise that Al-Dhansak is actually an automaton made of evoked kingstone. He is run by four or five ants that control his body from his head, and can be occasionally seen peering out of crafted sapphire eyes.

Crew of the Vengeance

Sadly, they all decided to try their hand at fly-fishing and ended up catching the Kraken. The only memorial to this ships crew is the smashed remains of the Vengeance within the bay.

Rogerston

A small mining community named after the founder, Francis Mallard, Rogerston is fabled to be the home of the Amethyst Duck. No one from outside the community has yet seen the Duck in daylight, but it is told to have the most amazing and vibrant colours when seen at the full moon.

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The Seekers of the Hillfort

Although it is possible to find them (not difficult, walk along the main routeway towards the highest mountain) the Seekers believe they make every effort to keep themselves hidden. They are very secretive and do not travel well. Any one whos attempted to visit has never been seen again. If you find yourself walking down the main routeway towards the highest mountain, turn around before their archers see you. It is rumoured that they can hit a large sparrow with an arrow at point blank range.

Effigy Players of Arrosetna

Providing entertainment for the troops is the main role of the Players. Their motivation for the different parts they play may be different, but they are united in entertainment of all kinds. It has been said that they are ready to perform at the drop of their trousers (or is that hat?) and always give the best performance of their lives each time.

Covenant of the Dark Mage

Flying high in the middle storm clouds is a citadel where Flambeau, Ramellanthann, Baraccuss, Swiftsilver and their elven servants live. The interior is luxurious: the walls are covered in large, complex tapestries; jewel encrusted statues form ranks down the corridors; and the banquets served there to the Dragonkin are always of the highest standard.

From the outside, the citadel is hidden by clouds, and is a dull, dark grey to help keep it hidden. It is from the colour of the exterior of the citadel that the mages chose to describe themselves, and not the fact that their favourite pastime is to cover themselves in black paint, teleport down to the surface of Peridor, and pretend to be envoys for The Wizard Woo.

Sparta

The valiant warriors from this island haven are well known for their fighting prowess; their capacity to partake of gargantuan amounts of cream soda and chocolate cake; their dexterity at cross-stitch; and not being able to tell the difference between giant scorpions and statues. Part of their training involves learning to march and fight with broomsticks attached to their backs. This is to help with their posture, keep the roads clean, and to get them used to having brushes attached to their heads.

Haven

This sleepy fishing village, on the northern coast of Kraken Bay, boasts some of the most prolific poets in Peridor. Public performances are given every month in a specially built auditorium. It is not unusual for people from neighbouring communities to come and listen to the poets latest works. Many of the more famous poems have their stories told in murals around the village.

Naraimi Rangers

The Naraimi catfolk have settled in the only area of Peridor in which the rare catnip plant grows. They carefully cultivate it so that there is always a supply to feed their habit. They have been known to take a supply with them while travelling. One look at Pyotrs face will tell you hes on something.

Foundation of Knowledge

Located on a small island in the middle of a lake, the Foundation boasted the biggest library in Peridor filled with all the known knowledge of Peridor. That is until Kyle Tristan ran off with it. How he managed to fit the library in his backpack is a question which will puzzle scholar for many years to come.

All the contents of the Almanac of Peridor have been verified as true by the greatest of authorities available.

Anyone disagreeing will be: consumed by a plague of insects; ravaged by a herd of bulls; pecked by a flock of gulls; and have your kneecaps broken by the lads. Death to all heretics and unbelievers.

Donations welcomed.

Peridor Publishing Inc take no responsibility whatsoever as to the accuracy of the Almanac of Peridor.

Peridor Publishing Inc take no responsibility for any injury or loss of life to anyone using the Almanac of Peridor to visit friends and enemies.